Stepping off the cliff
I'm coming to the end of a fervent writing period. At the end of January I agreed to write a book for the new paranormal line Silhouette will debut this October. The name of the line is Nocturne. My book is slotted for November. Which means, I had about 2 1/2 months to write this book. Without direction or guidelines.
Oh sure, I knew the line was paranormal, and my editor wanted it to be about vampires. Dark vampires. And sexy. And to feature the hero's journey from dark to light. And please keep it under 75k words.
That's all I got for guidelines. And it wasn't like there were other books out in the series to read, to get a feel for this new line. I'm going to be MAKING the guidelines as I write. Hmm.... No, pressure there, eh?
I've finished the book. And today I'm sitting here wondering what I have done. Is it good? Does it fit what the line wants? Is this what my editor had in mind when she trusted me to write this book? I feel very much as if I'm stepping forward, with nothing beneath my feet. And as I'm sitting here, feeling this way, the image of the Fool tarot card comes to mind.
Yep, that's me, the fool. Have you ever felt as if you are stepping forward, with no idea what you are stepping into? It isn't dark, it's just...muzzy. Unformed, and unfinished and unsure. Surely when you step down, you will land. But how's that landing going to feel? Will it hurt? Will you struggle to cling to the edge? Or will you fly? Hmm...
Some tarot interpretors consider The Fool the most important card in the deck, while others dismiss it. The journey, a carefree start, stepping off without surety of where one will land, it signifies new beginnings, of acting against all that others believe to be correct, of taking chances. It is about trusting your intuition, and yes, taking that step.
So, here I go. I'll be printing up the manscript this weekend, and sending it off to see if it will fly. I've got to trust myself that this is the right move. That it will meet the unwritten guidelines and standards of this new line. It's not easy. (And I'm crossing my fingers that my 76K words will not be booed at too loudly. I've tried to cut the last 1000 words out, I really have!)
How often have you felt the Fool standing at the edge, wondering if you could make the leap? Did you make the leap?
Michele
posted by Michele Hauf @ 12:44 PM
1 Comments:
Can you just think of yourself as a trailblazer?
It's stunning to me, who hasn't written a book, that successful writers continue to feel concern about their work product. But, I guess that's what makes you a successful writer: you're not in love with your stuff, you leave that to the reader. And we reward you for it by loving your books.
Now, you wanna talk precipice? I feel it all the time about Romance: B(u)y the Book. The whole project was nothing if not a big leap of faith. Now, as it grows and gains notice, I feel the fool often when I try to create a new buzz, open a new avenue for romance novelists and the genre; or accept that I have the ability and "right" to do what I'm doing.
Nothing great in my life has come w/o conflict or that choice to move forward or stay static.
I did this cool thing on vacation recently, kinda representative of where I am in life. We did this 2 mile walk up and through a river in Jamaica. At one point, I got to dive about five feet below surface and swim through a tunnel, about 6 feet, carved through the centuries by the river. It was exhilirating, a real challenge met. Later, I dove off of the side of a rise, which was awesome. I felt I'd really made a statement to myself about facing fear.
Apparently, I have no fear of rambling on, or sharing TMI. But I like your question and appreciate the way you state the juxtaposition of opportunity and fear.
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